My city has been cloudy lately and we’re getting some beautiful drizzle lately. Something about this weather makes gets me excited and upset at the same time. I can never put my finger on it but it turns my emotions upside down.
I was watching ‘Love, Rosie’ today. The movie is based on a book written by Cecilia Ahern, originally titled, ‘Where Rainbows End’. The first book written by Cecilia that I read was ‘PS: I Love You’ and same as that one’s experience, this one made me cry my eye balls out too. No one really knows, but the reason why I lock my door from the inside each time I watch a romantic movie is mainly because I am the world’s biggest weeper. Heck, if two people hug after a fight, I start fighting back tears even if I those people are complete strangers to me.
As a personal goal, this year, I had promised my self to not be embarrassed by what I am. Where openly, voicing out my opinion and beliefs has been a very liberating feeling, I am still struggling with showing my feelings to people. There is this reluctance inside that screams at me, tells me its embarrassing to love, cry or hug the people you love. It’s like a magnetic, invisible force that pulls me back each time I try to pull away from it.
Anyway, I guess, writing about it is a first, baby step. I’m hoping to not be a closet anything by the end of this year. Till then, I shall keep writing and whining.